“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor.” – Anne Lamott
Initially, I wanted to write a post about Minimalism but paused at a point because it wasn’t perfect – I struggled with words to write because I wanted it to be intelligent, witty, insightful and void of errors; so as all my posts. Then, it dawned on me that this is always the same routine that goes with every of my posts- always wanting them to be perfect, even in my shoots and other things I do, which limit me in doing things because making mistakes hasn’t been one thing I love. I’ve always been one who likes doing things meticulously and anyone that has worked with me can tell – I love having things done perfect and if they can’t deliver I do it myself and strive toward perfectionism; don’t get me wrong, it’s not bad to want things done great but sometimes embrace mistakes, cut yourself and everyone around you some slack. You will not always be prefect but you can be better.
Perfectionism can be good and at the same time bad but those of us that struggle with it can tell that it’s more of a self-torture and unhealthy habit, where mistakes is are not allowed, which affects the way we do things, meet people and work.
There is an extremely thin line between having admirable high standards and the torture of perfectionism.
Tracing it down, it started with the way I was brought up, always told to attain a certain level(nothing short of excellence) and anything short of it, was heavily frowned upon. At first, it was easy and nothing much, till I couldn’t anymore and I slipped and to the first time I thought I failed Oh! How badly I beat myself up to it and thought it was all-over.
Most of the times, people struggle for perfectionism and end up in depression
Perfectionism doesn’t have to be in all parts of your life, it can be in an area of your life- relationship, work, social life and many more; which can have an adverse effect on you, behavior and relationships
Addressing Perfection is a journey, it doesn’t start in one day and end in another; it’s also a journey to self-discovery, here are ways I’ve been able to curb it, I’m still a work-in-progress.
HOW TO CURB PERFECTIONISM
✦ Realize it’s a problem
Most people don’t know how badly it has eaten up in them, they can’t tell if it’s a problem because it has become a bitter way of life. One way of determining it, is take time to evaluate your life (work, relationships.etc) and it’s impact on your personality, mental health. Realize it’s a problem and torture and strive towards changing. It will be hard initially, sometimes you will slip back into it, it’s ok but try and continue with your strategy.
The fact that I know it’s a problem, doesn’t mean I’m going to take all my exes back or accept unfavorable habits from people, No! I’m still going to strive to having what I want, because I know I deserve better.
✦ Embrace mistakes
Recognise that’s it okay to make mistakes, see them as a learning process, ways by which things should not be done and look towards learning new and better ways of doing things and learn them
✦ Use your Ideals as guides not Absolutes/Standards for everyone else
Your Mindset goes a long way, I had/still having an All-or- Nothing Mindset. Sometimes, I make a plan and once I fall-out or maybe skip a day out, I cancel it entirely because I wanted to be perfect from the start- with no mistakes/overlap. It’s either I go all-out or nothing at all, no in-between.
✦ Love yourself
This can’t be over-stressed enough!!! Despite anything you go through, know you are Awesome and a Badass, don’t let circumstances or people tell you less. Talked more about it here
I usually beat myself up for every “failure” and “little” feat I achieved – as far as it wasn’t what I wanted, but slowly I’m learning to celebrate every little feat, victory and be grateful for everything that happens, either good or bad.
✦ Let go and Let God
I’ve learnt that there are certain things that are beyond my control, so I let go and Let God take His cause, because all things work together for me.
✦ Live in the moment
Worrying about the future and trying to be perfect has been one thing I’m a major proponent of, that I forget to live in the moment and enjoy the presents of life. This rubs you of a lot of things and sometimes opportunities. Learn to live in the moment and stop worrying about things you can’t control.
Photography: @shutterfeverphotography (I.G.)
This does not mean I will stop being a Reviewer/Critic because I don’t feel they need to be perfect but they can be better ?
Have a Lovely Week Ahead!
What are your thoughts on Perfectionism? Has it affected you in any way, do share, I will love to know
REMEMBER SHARING IS KINGING!